Have you ever gotten knocked off your feet in a pond, river, or lake? Have you ever stumbled around in swift currents, or on hard rocks – trying to get your feet set back solid beneath you?
I have. Even though I know how to swim, outside of a pool, I feel way more unsure of myself when my feet no longer touch the bottom because I can’t see the bottom.
Yeah – life has been like that for me for awhile now. 2020 has been a humdinger, hasn’t it? When my dad died in January, it had a HUGE impact on me – but because I am a mom, and because COVID hit, and the world shut down, I went into survivor mode. My hours at work reduced because there wasn’t as much work to do, so I was home with my kids while they struggled to navigate a new school experience at home.
I kept my feet under me, but it was like the water became murkier the longer I went along. At one point, I realized I could NOT keep going because survivor mode wasn’t cutting it anymore.
My feet were ANYWHERE but solid beneath me.
So I reached out and asked for help finding a counselor. I got matched up with one and we have been meeting weekly for several weeks now.
In the meantime, a lot of other crises occurred which really rocked my life as I knew it. And frankly, I had a day where I literally said, “It is too much. I just can’t.”
But that was 2 weeks ago! And today my counselor urged me to remember that day. How I felt like I was at the end of my rope. I didn’t try to fix it, but I didn’t give up. I went into SURVIVOR mode.
I got intentional about sleep. I stripped back everything extra and let it all go. I got very simplified with meal prep. And it stayed that way until my perspective shifted!
It helps to have someone who is walking through these days with me on a regular basis – who can reflect on the accomplishments and on the fact that giving up was not an option.
I made the mental note that in the past two weeks, although I didn’t DO IT ALL, I did find my footing, and it has helped tremendously!!!